I will be heading to Hong Kong today!!!! will be back only on Saturday night!

Excited!!!! Don’t miss me while I am gone!

我想我没那么坚强 每个女孩其实一样

渴望着爱情的好 渴望被拥抱

却都害怕爱让人受伤

承认我没那么坚强

不过是一而再的逞强

Meaningful lyrics.. Totally describes how I’ve been feeling for the last few years…

Mondays at work are usually blue.. And today’s even bluer than usual cos of the announcements made…

There’s gonna be some major restructuring. And as everyone knows, restructuring usually involves retrenchment. Loads of people getting axed.

Even though I haven’t been here for long, only a short 8-month stay.. But I really have no idea how to face those people who are leaving. No idea what to say to them, no words of consolation. So this is how it feels..

Some of them who have taught me something along the way, some whom I totally don’t feel anything for, some whom I even dislike.. But it all boiled down to the same emotion as I see them walk to the HR Dept for their letter and cheques.. Speechlessness and helplessness.

I know some are happy they got chosen as this has been something they’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I know some deserve to go cos they haven’t been working hard enough. But it still is difficult.. And I chose the easy way out, to escape. I chose to take the rest of the day off and hide at home. Where I don’t have to think of what to say, how to react, or fake a smile to those who are leaving..

Goodbyes are always hardest to say… No matter how much u dislike the person. Whatever it is, I wish the people who are leaving well. And that they will find better places to work. As for me, I am just going to try my best till the end of this year and see where it leads me…

Haven’t felt so confused for a long time. This is the first time I am having so much difficulty judging the character of a person. Usually I can say I am a fairly good judge of how a person is like, or what type of secret the person is keeping.

For the first time, I can’t tell what type of secret the person is keeping, or what is exactly in the mind. For the first time, I meet someone who gives me no sense of security.. I can’t trust this person at all.

Yet… I feel myself wanting to find out more about the gray area. I want to know exactly what the gray area is about. What is the secret… I hope I can uncover the secret soon and then move on with my life.. Wish me luck…

A lot has been happening in my life lately.. Pretty shitty stuff…

One shit after another popping up in my face.. i was starting to get exhausted by it..

Managed to solve 1 problem which affected me quite a bit..

Then solved 1 prawn problem.. Disappointments were haunting me for weeks, but it also helped me get over the problem pretty fast. Woke up from it after hanging onto it for months.. But I am glad.. I am quite proud to proclaim that I am over it..

Then another.. stupid.. lets call it Mp3 player problem which happened this week. But managed to convince myself that I shouldn’t be letting myself get affected over this dumb shit which doesn’t even mean anything in my life. Felt totally stupid over this episode and I refuse to let it affect me for another day. Been brooding over it last night and entire day today. I promise myself, come tomorrow, its all going out the window..

And to make matters better / worse.. Last night… Another episode…. Better cos it sort of got my mind off the Mp3 Player problem.. Worse cos… it made me feel shittier than I already was..

*sigh* how much more can I take?

Sometimes, all a girl wants… is just…. to be happy…

I guess the crap load above probably doesn’t make sense to most people. But all very real issues happening to me and I just needed to let it out. To help me get over faster.

I really hope.. This will be a better year for me.. Really hope.. That my happiness is just around the corner, at the next stop..

P/S: OMG I just realised that Berrified has been around for 1 year +! I missed the 1 year anniversary of the blog! It didn’t occur to me to check cos it didn’t seem that long! To mark the belated 1 year anniversary, I guess I will get started on a new blog design! Stay tuned!

Just realised that my comments page doesn’t work. This is weird…..

I can view the number of comments I have but I can’t read the comments. Super weird.

Time to go investigate the codes again tonight. *Blah*

I hate reading php & html & css codes..